Coat: Marks & Spencer (old). Jumper: H&M (old but buy similar here). Bag: J Crew (old but buy similar via Boden here). Leggings: £8.99, H&M Maternity. Trainers: New Balance (old but similar style here). Prescription sunglasses: Bailey Nelson. Photograph: Christopher O’Donnell.
So apparently a few readers guessed already (the lack of posting over the summer probably hinted at it), but we’re thrilled to be expecting a baby in March. I must admit, this pregnancy lark has been a LOT harder than I expected it to be and as someone who can’t function without 3 coffees, a never ending to-do list and endless energy with which to dash around town on appointments, this slowing down and listening to my body hasn’t come easy. That said, I wouldn’t wish it any other way right now and it’s a hugely exciting chapter we actually feel (dare I say?) READY for….
Blog-wise, I am hoping for most content to stay the same: outfit posts, (perhaps more domestic) travel, interiors and occasional beauty – the jeans I’m wearing might be more maternity in style but hopefully I’ll still achieve the same quality of content. If there IS anything you’d like to see pregnancy-wise, please let me know!
And I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learnt along the way…
I never thought pregnancy would be the hard bit!
As a couple that have been together for 10 years, married for 4, we got asked a lot about when we were going to have kids. Yes, we both weren’t settled in our careers and wanted to try and prepare more financially etc but mainly we knew what a big life-changing deal having a child is and never wanted to go into it lightly….but I have to admit when we decided (probably late last year) that maybe we were ready, I thought only the bit during childbirth and after would be the hard bit. I did not prepare for pregnancy to chew me up, spit me out and keep nibbling for this long.
I didn’t even have Hyperemesis (something my sister suffered from), but I couldn’t sit upright for 7-8 weeks straight, or even lift my head…I couldn’t even get out of bed for most of the time in Stockholm and Copenhagen (how social media paints it differently!) and am still being sick most days even at 19 weeks (yes, I have tried everything!). For some women it never passes and most women have to continue going to work full-time – I could fob off some clients, plan shoots 4pm onwards when I thought I’d feel better, shoot with my husband, who could stand in front of me whilst I was sick behind a car between shots….I honestly don’t know how most people who work full time, or have other children to look after, do it. Seriously, new found respect!
It’s okay to wear leggings…
Maternity clothes. Hmmmm….a tricky one! A few people have mentioned about doing a blogpost on maternity wear but to be honest, I’m going to try and buy as little as possible….I’ve already gone through most of my wardrobe and put away things that won’t work and looking at more of a capsule wardrobe. I’m actually enjoying the limited selection, so far! I have bought 2 pairs of jeans – one skinny, one girlfriend style and pulled out all my oversized cashmere jumpers and boyfriend shirts. Until I get much bigger I’ll survive on those and dresses (oh, I did also buy this knitted dress from Asos in excitement but not sure if I’ll get away with it!).
One thing I did find, especially in the early stages, was the importance of loungewear. When I couldn’t leave the house and feeling so rough, it helped to get ‘dressed’ but I didn’t want to put jeans on and most of my normal clothes didn’t fit (not really from pregnancy, more from the curly fries I was eating everyday). Everyone told me to invest in leggings and yep, I get it – I put mine on most days with a chunky knit and felt relaxed but a little bit more myself – and I actually don’t think they look too bad with a coat and trainers….
My job has its Pros and Cons
The flexibility of my work is something I never take for granted – the fact I could often just work for 1 hour between 7-8pm some days over the last few months and achieve what I needed to has been amazing. The reality of working for yourself, however, and trying to work out how and if you’ll be able to take any maternity leave is a little tougher. I’d love not to have to work for a few months but this is definitely something we will have to play by ear. I’d also be naive in thinking the reason a few brands dropped me from recent projects wasn’t just because they changed direction, and more when they found out I would have a bump – us Freelancers don’t really have an HR department who can guide us through discrimination in the workplace but you have to take the peaks with the troughs! The fact that my husband and I can discuss being at home more and be a little flexible with our working hours makes me feel very lucky indeed.
And if you can stomach it, I actually filmed a little vlog diary through my first trimester – more for me to have a project so I didn’t go insane from being housebound but also for people going through a similar thing. I felt really lonely in the first few weeks as couldn’t tell anyone and was wondering if what I was going through was normal/hyperemesis/worrying etc so I relied a lot on forums, blogs and the NHS website….! And Hannah Gale’s pregnancy video and blog made me feel somewhat normal and not so guilty about everything – so here’s my attempt!
Lastly, I wanted to send a HUGE thank you to everyone who has left lovely comments on social media, via the blog etc and has offered support and comfort – it has been such an amazing experience going through this with a supportive community. I promise not to go on about pregnancy ‘too’ much….:)
Congratulations lovely ! It’s great news and I can only imagine how much hard work it must be! This is one of the reasons we kinda keep postponing babies (probably forever) as I can’t imagine how to handle this with a job 7am to 7pm! Plus I do love my 1-2 coffees in the morning and being able to do what and when I want to. I’m sure it will be all worth it tho! All my friends keep saying this xx
Oh yes, I thought that as well – but it is amazing how you learnt to prioritise and delegate instead – and I’ve learnt I probably didn’t have to be so absorbed in my work perhaps after all!
Congratulations! Very exciting news, hang on in there it does get better and in the meantime get some gingernuts or anything with ginger in it really helps. I’m 34 weeks and really looking forward to meeting the little person now. Best of luck. Emma
I really didn’t find ginger helped at all sadly – just junk food! Chris just threw away the last of the ginger beer cans actually – swapped for curly fries! Oh wow – so close now – good luck xxx
Oh babe. It’s such a mission, isn’t it? Well done for getting through that difficult time. You have developed such a beautiful community for yourself which is a reflection of all your nature, personality and spirit. So many people would be willing to jump in with (hopefully helpful rather than unsolicited) advice and ways to manage difficult times if they crop up again. Best of love and luck for the upcoming months.
Congratulations! I love your video about it all. It will be lovely to look back on. Isn’t the human body an amazing thing! I really hope you start feeling better soon so you can really enjoy being pregnant. Good luck. xx
Dont stress about the rice cakes! Ive eaten so many Tasty Cheese Doritos over the course of my 38.5 weeks (almost there!) Pregnancy, that im worried the baby is going to come out looking slightly orange! Thank god for mat jeans and my collection of Cos stretchy bretons! Hope the nausea eases off and you get some energy soon!
Loved meeting you on your video ‘in person’ Alex. As you know I’ve become a firm fan. I love how warm & natural you are & not afraid to share how vulnerable you feel. I think this will help a lot of first time Mums who are struggling. And still done with your inimitable style. We’re all rooting for you xx
Congratulations! But also, I feel your pain. (Just got into work having vommed in the nursery car park after dropping baby #1 off). I’m also 19 weeks – can’t wait for our scan later this week. But I had really hoped that the sickness would have worn off by now. I promise that it did eventually go the first time around. And I did have about 4 weeks of “the glow”. I think March is a good due time as last time I was due in July and being enormous in the heat of the summer was not good. Hoping for a cold winter – with the added bonus of an internal hot water bottle!! Looking forward to seeing how you style your pregnancy wardrobe and picking up a few tips. I’m trying to work with the few bits I have from last time and anything in my wardrobe that is already oversized (quite a bit it turns out). Anyway, congrats again! xxx
Congrats to you too – I couldn’t imagine doing this with another child! Hope your scan went well – mine is next week and I’m very excited but also nervous xxx
You poor thing, that kind of sickness is really unfair when most of us feel better by second trimester! I know you won’t say, but I’d really like to know which brands dropped you so that I know not to shop with them again! Its outrageous they don’t want to work with you because of a bump. Outrageous! Their loss!!
I’m definitely feeling better today so fingers crossed! I’ve no concrete evidence really, just a feeling, would rather not say but maybe I’ll be promoting them less in the future 😉 xxx
Massive congratulations you! I welcomed my little one into the world recently (was totally worth 9 month on legging wearing – haha!). If you’re struggling with comfort at night invest in a BBHugMe pillow (look on insta). Quite pricey but worth every minute! Post pregnancy is working as the perfect breastfeeding pillow 🙂 Enjoy the journey ahead! I can’t for your nursery interiors posts to start appearing :-)) xx
Really enjoyed the honesty of your video and hope you’ll do more. We out here are interested in your pregnancy, and of course the baby, as well as clothes and house interiors. Hope you feel well today?
Congratulations lovely ! It’s great news and I can only imagine how much hard work it must be! This is one of the reasons we kinda keep postponing babies (probably forever) as I can’t imagine how to handle this with a job 7am to 7pm! Plus I do love my 1-2 coffees in the morning and being able to do what and when I want to. I’m sure it will be all worth it tho! All my friends keep saying this xx
http://www.elegantduchess.com/2017/10/17/10-reasons-to-wear-a-hat/
Oh yes, I thought that as well – but it is amazing how you learnt to prioritise and delegate instead – and I’ve learnt I probably didn’t have to be so absorbed in my work perhaps after all!
Congratulations! Very exciting news, hang on in there it does get better and in the meantime get some gingernuts or anything with ginger in it really helps. I’m 34 weeks and really looking forward to meeting the little person now. Best of luck. Emma
I really didn’t find ginger helped at all sadly – just junk food! Chris just threw away the last of the ginger beer cans actually – swapped for curly fries! Oh wow – so close now – good luck xxx
Oh babe. It’s such a mission, isn’t it? Well done for getting through that difficult time. You have developed such a beautiful community for yourself which is a reflection of all your nature, personality and spirit. So many people would be willing to jump in with (hopefully helpful rather than unsolicited) advice and ways to manage difficult times if they crop up again. Best of love and luck for the upcoming months.
Yes – so many people have been lovely and offering support – I actually couldn’t imagine going through it without social media! x
Congratulations! I love your video about it all. It will be lovely to look back on. Isn’t the human body an amazing thing! I really hope you start feeling better soon so you can really enjoy being pregnant. Good luck. xx
Thank you! Not too nauseous this morning so here’s hoping! xxx
Dont stress about the rice cakes! Ive eaten so many Tasty Cheese Doritos over the course of my 38.5 weeks (almost there!) Pregnancy, that im worried the baby is going to come out looking slightly orange! Thank god for mat jeans and my collection of Cos stretchy bretons! Hope the nausea eases off and you get some energy soon!
Less the rice cakes, more the Chicago town pizzas I eat everyday I get worried about! This weekend is seeming good so fingers crossed! x
Loved meeting you on your video ‘in person’ Alex. As you know I’ve become a firm fan. I love how warm & natural you are & not afraid to share how vulnerable you feel. I think this will help a lot of first time Mums who are struggling. And still done with your inimitable style. We’re all rooting for you xx
Thank you so much xxxx
Congratulations! But also, I feel your pain. (Just got into work having vommed in the nursery car park after dropping baby #1 off). I’m also 19 weeks – can’t wait for our scan later this week. But I had really hoped that the sickness would have worn off by now. I promise that it did eventually go the first time around. And I did have about 4 weeks of “the glow”. I think March is a good due time as last time I was due in July and being enormous in the heat of the summer was not good. Hoping for a cold winter – with the added bonus of an internal hot water bottle!! Looking forward to seeing how you style your pregnancy wardrobe and picking up a few tips. I’m trying to work with the few bits I have from last time and anything in my wardrobe that is already oversized (quite a bit it turns out). Anyway, congrats again! xxx
Congrats to you too – I couldn’t imagine doing this with another child! Hope your scan went well – mine is next week and I’m very excited but also nervous xxx
You poor thing, that kind of sickness is really unfair when most of us feel better by second trimester! I know you won’t say, but I’d really like to know which brands dropped you so that I know not to shop with them again! Its outrageous they don’t want to work with you because of a bump. Outrageous! Their loss!!
I’m definitely feeling better today so fingers crossed! I’ve no concrete evidence really, just a feeling, would rather not say but maybe I’ll be promoting them less in the future 😉 xxx
Massive congratulations you! I welcomed my little one into the world recently (was totally worth 9 month on legging wearing – haha!). If you’re struggling with comfort at night invest in a BBHugMe pillow (look on insta). Quite pricey but worth every minute! Post pregnancy is working as the perfect breastfeeding pillow 🙂 Enjoy the journey ahead! I can’t for your nursery interiors posts to start appearing :-)) xx
*worth every penny… baby brain…! xx
Yes have been told about this pillow! I’m fine hugging a regular pillow at the moment so will see how I go – congratulations on motherhood xxx
Really enjoyed the honesty of your video and hope you’ll do more. We out here are interested in your pregnancy, and of course the baby, as well as clothes and house interiors. Hope you feel well today?
Thank you – feeling very good today actually! xx