17th October 2017

I’m pregnant: what now?

Fashion, Parenting - By Alexandra Stedman

Coat: Marks & Spencer (old). Jumper: H&M (old but buy similar here). Bag: J Crew (old but buy similar via Boden here). Leggings: £8.99, H&M Maternity. Trainers: New Balance (old but similar style here). Prescription sunglasses: Bailey Nelson. Photograph: Christopher O’Donnell.

So apparently a few readers guessed already (the lack of posting over the summer probably hinted at it), but we’re thrilled to be expecting a baby in March. I must admit, this pregnancy lark has been a LOT harder than I expected it to be and as someone who can’t function without 3 coffees, a never ending to-do list and endless energy with which to dash around town on appointments, this slowing down and listening to my body hasn’t come easy. That said, I wouldn’t wish it any other way right now and it’s a hugely exciting chapter we actually feel (dare I say?) READY for….

Blog-wise, I am hoping for most content to stay the same: outfit posts, (perhaps more domestic) travel, interiors and occasional beauty – the jeans I’m wearing might be more maternity in style but hopefully I’ll still achieve the same quality of content. If there IS anything you’d like to see pregnancy-wise, please let me know!

And I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learnt along the way…

I never thought pregnancy would be the hard bit!

As a couple that have been together for 10 years, married for 4, we got asked a lot about when we were going to have kids. Yes, we both weren’t settled in our careers and wanted to try and prepare more financially etc but mainly we knew what a big life-changing deal having a child is and never wanted to go into it lightly….but I have to admit when we decided (probably late last year) that maybe we were ready, I thought only the bit during childbirth and after would be the hard bit. I did not prepare for pregnancy to chew me up, spit me out and keep nibbling for this long.

I didn’t even have Hyperemesis (something my sister suffered from), but I couldn’t sit upright for 7-8 weeks straight, or even lift my head…I couldn’t even get out of bed for most of the time in Stockholm and Copenhagen (how social media paints it differently!) and am still being sick most days even at 19 weeks (yes, I have tried everything!). For some women it never passes and most women have to continue going to work full-time – I could fob off some clients, plan shoots 4pm onwards when I thought I’d feel better, shoot with my husband, who could stand in front of me whilst I was sick behind a car between shots….I honestly don’t know how most people who work full time, or have other children to look after, do it. Seriously, new found respect!

It’s okay to wear leggings…

Maternity clothes. Hmmmm….a tricky one! A few people have mentioned about doing a blogpost on maternity wear but to be honest, I’m going to try and buy as little as possible….I’ve already gone through most of my wardrobe and put away things that won’t work and looking at more of a capsule wardrobe. I’m actually enjoying the limited selection, so far! I have bought 2 pairs of jeans – one skinny, one girlfriend style and pulled out all my oversized cashmere jumpers and boyfriend shirts. Until I get much bigger I’ll survive on those and dresses (oh, I did also buy this knitted dress from Asos in excitement but not sure if I’ll get away with it!).

One thing I did find, especially in the early stages, was the importance of loungewear. When I couldn’t leave the house and feeling so rough, it helped to get ‘dressed’ but I didn’t want to put jeans on and most of my normal clothes didn’t fit (not really from pregnancy, more from the curly fries I was eating everyday). Everyone told me to invest in leggings and yep, I get it – I put mine on most days with a chunky knit and felt relaxed but a little bit more myself – and I actually don’t think they look too bad with a coat and trainers….

My job has its Pros and Cons

The flexibility of my work is something I never take for granted – the fact I could often just work for 1 hour between 7-8pm some days over the last few months and achieve what I needed to has been amazing. The reality of working for yourself, however, and trying to work out how and if you’ll be able to take any maternity leave is a little tougher. I’d love not to have to work for a few months but this is definitely something we will have to play by ear. I’d also be naive in thinking the reason a few brands dropped me from recent projects wasn’t just because they changed direction, and more when they found out I would have a bump – us Freelancers don’t really have an HR department who can guide us through discrimination in the workplace but you have to take the peaks with the troughs! The fact that my husband and I can discuss being at home more and be a little flexible with our working hours makes me feel very lucky indeed.

And if you can stomach it, I actually filmed a little vlog diary through my first trimester – more for me to have a project so I didn’t go insane from being housebound but also for people going through a similar thing. I felt really lonely in the first few weeks as couldn’t tell anyone and was wondering if what I was going through was normal/hyperemesis/worrying etc so I relied a lot on forums, blogs and the NHS website….! And Hannah Gale’s pregnancy video and blog made me feel somewhat normal and not so guilty about everything – so here’s my attempt!

Lastly, I wanted to send a HUGE thank you to everyone who has left lovely comments on social media, via the blog etc and has offered support and comfort – it has been such an amazing experience going through this with a supportive community. I promise not to go on about pregnancy ‘too’ much….:)

By Alexandra Stedman

Fashion Editor, Blogger, Realist

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Comments

  1. Congratulations lovely ! It’s great news and I can only imagine how much hard work it must be! This is one of the reasons we kinda keep postponing babies (probably forever) as I can’t imagine how to handle this with a job 7am to 7pm! Plus I do love my 1-2 coffees in the morning and being able to do what and when I want to. I’m sure it will be all worth it tho! All my friends keep saying this xx

    http://www.elegantduchess.com/2017/10/17/10-reasons-to-wear-a-hat/

  2. Congratulations! Very exciting news, hang on in there it does get better and in the meantime get some gingernuts or anything with ginger in it really helps. I’m 34 weeks and really looking forward to meeting the little person now. Best of luck. Emma

  3. Oh babe. It’s such a mission, isn’t it? Well done for getting through that difficult time. You have developed such a beautiful community for yourself which is a reflection of all your nature, personality and spirit. So many people would be willing to jump in with (hopefully helpful rather than unsolicited) advice and ways to manage difficult times if they crop up again. Best of love and luck for the upcoming months.

  4. Congratulations! I love your video about it all. It will be lovely to look back on. Isn’t the human body an amazing thing! I really hope you start feeling better soon so you can really enjoy being pregnant. Good luck. xx

  7. I really didn’t find ginger helped at all sadly – just junk food! Chris just threw away the last of the ginger beer cans actually – swapped for curly fries! Oh wow – so close now – good luck xxx

  8. Oh yes, I thought that as well – but it is amazing how you learnt to prioritise and delegate instead – and I’ve learnt I probably didn’t have to be so absorbed in my work perhaps after all!

  9. Dont stress about the rice cakes! Ive eaten so many Tasty Cheese Doritos over the course of my 38.5 weeks (almost there!) Pregnancy, that im worried the baby is going to come out looking slightly orange! Thank god for mat jeans and my collection of Cos stretchy bretons! Hope the nausea eases off and you get some energy soon!

  10. Loved meeting you on your video ‘in person’ Alex. As you know I’ve become a firm fan. I love how warm & natural you are & not afraid to share how vulnerable you feel. I think this will help a lot of first time Mums who are struggling. And still done with your inimitable style. We’re all rooting for you xx

  11. Congratulations! But also, I feel your pain. (Just got into work having vommed in the nursery car park after dropping baby #1 off). I’m also 19 weeks – can’t wait for our scan later this week. But I had really hoped that the sickness would have worn off by now. I promise that it did eventually go the first time around. And I did have about 4 weeks of “the glow”. I think March is a good due time as last time I was due in July and being enormous in the heat of the summer was not good. Hoping for a cold winter – with the added bonus of an internal hot water bottle!! Looking forward to seeing how you style your pregnancy wardrobe and picking up a few tips. I’m trying to work with the few bits I have from last time and anything in my wardrobe that is already oversized (quite a bit it turns out). Anyway, congrats again! xxx

  12. You poor thing, that kind of sickness is really unfair when most of us feel better by second trimester! I know you won’t say, but I’d really like to know which brands dropped you so that I know not to shop with them again! Its outrageous they don’t want to work with you because of a bump. Outrageous! Their loss!!

  13. Massive congratulations you! I welcomed my little one into the world recently (was totally worth 9 month on legging wearing – haha!). If you’re struggling with comfort at night invest in a BBHugMe pillow (look on insta). Quite pricey but worth every minute! Post pregnancy is working as the perfect breastfeeding pillow 🙂 Enjoy the journey ahead! I can’t for your nursery interiors posts to start appearing :-)) xx

  15. Really enjoyed the honesty of your video and hope you’ll do more. We out here are interested in your pregnancy, and of course the baby, as well as clothes and house interiors. Hope you feel well today?

  16. I know you’re gonna make pregnancy look stylish… even on the days you’re in loungewear! Super excited for you, can’t wait for updates and the usual blog posts too 🙂 and hope the sickness passes for you soon!

    Laura | roseandweston.blogspot.co.uk

  17. So happy for you! Likewise, I found the early part very lonely and isolating – it was such a relief when we could start to tell people. And I too am finding pregnancy much harder than I ever imagined – beforehand, I had a vision of myself drinking green juices, going to yoga classes, getting that elusive pregnancy glow. In reality I went totally off vegetables, have only just gone back to exercising (at almost 16 weeks) and I’ve never felt this tired in my entire life. Let’s hope it gets easier for the both of us from this point onward!
    PS the Topshop maternity Joni jeans are my saviour at the moment! They have given me a real confidence boost after weeks of staring hopelessly at my wardrobe 🙂

  18. Wow, we were completely spoilt with that video! Don’t worry about the fewer blog posts, we still think you’re cool ?✌?

  20. The way you share is why I keep coming back, oh and your impeccable style!
    I totally agree about not buying too much maternity wear, and integrating a few carefully chosen essentials with what you already own seems totally in keeping with The Frugality spirit.
    I hope the nausea and sickness is soon a thing of the past, and that you can start to enjoy the process more.

  21. Thank you so much for sharing this and creating the video diary – I am nearly 11 weeks pregnant and have been struggling massively……not just in terms of how I physically feel (hello nausea!), but also in articulating how mentally hard it is to feel not like myself. My husband and I are so happy and I know I will suffer anything to get this baby into the world…..but my god it’s a rollercoaster! I too work from home and am in awe of all the women who have to carry on as normal in these rocky first few weeks….really delighted to hear that you are starting to feel better though, fingers crossed you continue on that upward path! Everything you said completely resonated with me and I just want to say thank you.
    P.s. God bless McDonalds 🙂

  22. loved this post Alex and the video is fab, great to see the reality of it all, sounds like you’ve been struggling so much you poor thing. Glad to see your starting to feel better now though

    Mel x mediamarmalade.com

  23. Thanks for the pregnancy posts – loving them!
    I’m due a month after you, so am loving having an eye on ideas and inspo re: what’s just around the corner
    I’m really struggling for outfits ideas for a ‘nice eve out’ e.g. dinner with the girls – something a bit special but not OTT – any ideas would be amazing!
    PS: NHS says you can have 200mg of coffee per day, I’m measuring mine out religiously…

  24. Just read blog and watched the little video you made. Loved it. I really hope you start to feel better soon and enjoy being pregnant. I had my last baby in March. She will be 18 on the 18th. Good times. X

  25. I am so excited for you, but I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time with pregnancy (I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better).

    I worry all those same things (how on earth we’d make it work with work and without family to help, etc.), so I can’t wait to vicariously follow along as you incorporate this next chapter of your life.

    Sending so much love (and no ginger)!
    Briony xx

  26. Congratulations- I hope the rest of the trimester is kinder to you.
    Maternity wear is depressing. You were right to invest in jeans, I wore mine after my little one was born too. Great collection of photos.

  27. I’m so sorry you’ve been so sick. I was pregnant with twins and it never stopped. I had to go on medication. For some reason club sandwiches and cheese burgers made me feel better. Hang in there.

  28. Congratulations! And I feel your pain! I’m 11 weeks and being sick every day as well, and yep junk food is the only thing that helps me too, MacDonald’s strawberry milkshake is a winner! I hope it eases for you soon and any maternity fashion related posts would be great, I’m struggling with finding smart (cheap!) workwear. Congratulations again! ?

  29. Congratulations – hopefully now you have shared the news it relieves some pressure. I hated the first 12 weeks especially at work as i found it hard work covering up the fact i felt shit and wanted to sleep all the time! Enjoy as it all as time will fly past….. and even faster when bubba arrives.
    If you fancy a read, yoy may find a post i wrote helpful – 10 things i learnt during my pregnancy (http://www.theglitterfashionista.com/2017/08/10-things-i-learnt-during-my-pregnancy.html?m=1). X

  30. Hi Alex,
    Congratulations in your pregnancy. The vomiting every day is miserable, I was sick for the first 19 wks, stopped, then started again in the last couple of weeks. I even vomited during my long labour. I am still envious of those women that glow, look wonderful, and say they never felt so good as when pregnant!

    But what I can say is that it is such an amazing thing to grow a whole person. My ‘babies’ are 14 & 11 now, (that makes me feel pretty old!) I vividly remember the days they were born, and especially with my first – that moment of ‘wow this little person is amazing’, before the slight panic of ‘oh god I am a parent & need to be a responsible adult now’.

    I am sure you & Chris will be fantastically loving parents – as for the rest, we are all just trying to do the best we can.

  31. I’m sure you’ve already seen it but just in case you haven’t the Uphill blog by a model recommends Ruth Crilly might be worth a read. She’s very funny and realistic.
    Congratulations xx

  32. This is so exciting! I’ve followed your blog for years now and am also in the early stages of first pregnancy. About four weeks behind you! When I saw your Instagram post saying you were pregnant I did a little “eek” to my partner – he knows I’m obsessed with your home refurb and love your blog so looking forward to biting your style all the way. Massive congrats!

  33. You will really enjoy that video in years to come, it is funny how much you quickly forget. As a Mum of three gorgeous kids under five, all I can say is enjoy this time. Do as many unplanned outings as possible (no childminder arrangements to worry about.) Go the cinema and theatre with your husband. I did treat myself to two Isabella Oliver jersey dresses and worth every penny (three pregnancies plus my friend borrowed them for her pregnancy!) Oh and be sure to take all advice, shrug your shoulders and do your own thing! X

  35. Congrats, Alex! Really thrilled for you – hope you enjoy this new phase of your life, as it represent an amazing new beginning! I’m a sucker for babies, so have a tendency to think they are always good news no matter what… but I have heard a lot of similar comments from friends and family when it comes to pregnancy – hang in there! I would really love to see you give some more maternity tips for those of us coming after you… I’ve recommended your blog (as I usually do) to at least 3 of my pregnant friends lately, because if there’s anyone who can make pregnancy chic (and affordable) is you!

  36. Congratulations!! I was lucky with morning sickness but I did feel quite queasy a lot. Randomly the only thing that helped was salt & vinegar mccoys & sprite – neither of which I’ve had since! I remember thinking that the baby on board badge was more useful in the first trimester when I had to get the tube in rush hour as I constantly felt like I was going to throw up all over the people sitting down so it was much safer for me to be seated instead!!

  37. Beige is the new green! Don’t worry about what you’re eating AT ALL. Whatever you can face nibbling is fine. It baffled (& worried) me so much that the baby wasn’t getting any ‘good’ nutrients but they steal everything they need somehow.

    You’re so much stronger than you realise now & every day is an achievement. This video is a wonderful testament to that & you really DO look ‘glowy’!

    Thinking of you & of Nicky sharing these trials & tribulations together but smiles & celebrations are on the horizon. Take care of yourselves & each other- as Jerry Springer (?!) used to say. S xx

    p.s Serious kudos to Mr OD. He’s already doing sterling Dad stuff *strong arm & paper bag emoji*

  38. Firstly HUGE Congratulations to you both, what an amazing and exciting time of your lives! Secondly it is your blog, yep the one about you, your life, your style, your loves, the places and the moments that make up your joys …. honestly speaking for me it’s going to be absolutely fine if you include the most amazing life ever.

  40. Hi Alex, once again you amaze your loyal followers, you are so genuine and honest! Thank you for sharing the real life and the background behind the Pinterest life, it helps a lot in these competitive and sometimes difficult times. Huge congratulations to you both again, it was nice to meet you last Sunday 🙂 you looked amazing btw! Francesca xx

  41. I did the exact same thing – I bought two pairs of jeans and some maternity leggings and tried not to buy anything else (which worked till month 7/8 when all my tops suddenly became way too short).

    Interested to hear how you rework your existing wardrobe to make it through the pregnancy. I ended up becoming quite creative by the end…

    Good luck!

  42. We love you! So thrilled for you. Pregnancy was the hardest bit for me too. Harder than child birth or looking after the baby! Weird to think of it now. x x x

  50. I found that no one gave me a seat in first trimester – (mostly) men even looked at my stomach and decided it wasn’t worth it! Yes I have been drinking sprite too for the sugar – but I never usually like it at all! x

  56. Aah amazing – I’m 19 weeks now and woke up without the queasy feeling – so here’s hoping a little respite! And thank you so much – we are nervous but also so excited for what’s to come xxx

  61. Thank you B! This week is seeming better so fingers crossed! I must admit now we’re almost halfway (!) everyday seems a little less daunting and you start to think about things differently in general…hope to see you soon! xxx

  63. Congratulations to you too! Oh I am thinking oversized boyfriend shirts and then fabulous earrings are the way to go for a night out? And yes – I usually save my caffeine up for a can of coke (my saviour lately!) and then just back into coffee -but switched to decaf xx

  65. Aah I’m so pleased it helped – congrats to you! Yes I have so much admiration for people that just get through it working full-time, it really made me realise how much I dismissed morning sickness before – felt terrible x

  73. I’m definitely feeling better today so fingers crossed! I’ve no concrete evidence really, just a feeling, would rather not say but maybe I’ll be promoting them less in the future 😉 xxx

  76. Such wonderful news! You’re so right pregnancy can be hard work. Hoping you feel lots better soon, and looking forward to watching your vlog ? Perhaps you’ll soon be able to get some use out of my blog! (about family travel)

  78. Wow,I can’t believe how much watching your video has helped me, and help normalise how hideous I’m feeling! I’m almost 7 weeks and was beginning to wonder am I just a lightweight at this pregnancy malarkey-how do other people continue functioning as normal when I’m barely functioning at all??! So thank you, for your honestly and for sharing your experience, I feel a whole lot better knowing I’m not the only one who wants to stay in bed with a bag of salt and vinegar rice cakes and several gallons of icey cold water….

  80. Congratulations! You’ll forget all about your discomfort when you have your little baby in your arms, I promise (mine are 7 and 5 now)! I always thought I’ll be so very fashionable when I’m pregnant but I wasn’t. I felt sick most of my pregnancies, and when that stopped I was very hungry ? As for clothes I bought few leggings with higher waist and few dresses, tunics and knits from COS (non maternity), I’m still wearing today. Good luck lovely!