When it comes to holiday wear, I’m far more comfortable in an oversized cotton shirt than a kaftan.
For me, a dressed down approach to daywear works – and then I can go all out for the evening. As much as I love the idea of a kaftan, a shirt covers all bases, feels a bit cooler and an extra long one such as this can multitask, too (I pretty much wear as a dress when I get down to the beach).
When it comes to posting swimsuit pictures, I am always reluctant…mainly because I never take any photos in swimwear. It just never crosses my mind that anyone needs to see me in a swimsuit and if I’m honest, I haven’t really done any exercise since about 2013…
It makes me feel exposed – I don’t particularly love my body as much as I should…I’m lucky I am still relatively slim but a regular routine wouldn’t hurt (I am definitely noticing the effects of too many white bread rolls in my 30s!), but lack of time and lack of interest in any form of exercise means my body isn’t top of my priority list.
But as it’s summer, and Social Media has shone a spotlight on body confidence, I thought I’d embrace my mid 30s body here on the blog (but not quite ready for Instagram, yet!). I tend to wear swimsuits now so as not to worry about wobbly bits and try to stop comparing myself to Instagram girls 10 years younger with supermodel curves and toned stomachs…but we could all do with embracing our flaws now and then.
I have never edited the photos on this blog – my images on this site are always raw, as they come. I remember telling this to another blogger who looked at me with complete and utter surprise…and it made me realise that it’s not always the case. It had never crossed my mind that people spent hours editing pictures for their site…I’d always rather spend my time doing something else (God knows I already spend too much time working as it is).
Sometimes I feel my site isn’t as ‘glossy’ as other people’s but I suppose that’s some of its charm.
I was also somewhat inspired by Lucy Williams’ interview for Work Work Work (a website set up by industry friend Katherine Ormerod on the imperfections behind Instagram) on thoughts and feelings behind our strange social media careers (definitely worth a read).
I always feel that Instagram gives a different perspective to people’s lives…and as much as my blog and Instagram are about me, I always shoot first thing in the morning to avoid people staring, try to find the quietest streets to photograph (so people don’t think that I think I’m a model, dragging my husband around to take photos constantly) and pretty much always pick the shot without my face in.
However, on the surface my feed and blog would look like I exude confidence, feel confident in front of the camera and loved every second of this somewhat narcissistic existence(!). So as a lesson to those who compare their lives to others on Instagram: not everything is as it seems.
The media has always had a way of telling us who or what we’re supposed to look like. And it has taken me a long time to accept that I’ll never have a super toned body, but I do have a husband that loves me just the way I am (and was more than happy to take these pictures for me). So for now, that’ll do me just fine.
This post was in collaboration with Next, whose S/S collection is possibly their best one yet.
l understand your complaints about your shape but you shouldn’t; you are really fine with your body; goddamned us, media, fashion on charging at all girls/ women such burden: on trying to achieve an ideal concept of “perfect body”. Enjoy as much as you can your age and health, cause as from now time will be a very hard bitch, and it will be a constant struggle for women (as well as men) to keep their body on the suitable condition and shape (if you are as normal as many, not like those rare persons who have a very high metabolism rate and easily can fit on the fashion culture praise). 🙂
Cheers!
Totally agree! I am definitely finding it harder to eat what I want…and the idea that there is a ‘normal’ weight or size out there is kind of ridiculous, we all come in different shapes and sizes x
Indeed; but it is still a struggle to many women to learn appreciate their own body shape while living in/ brainwashed by a culture based on the fashionable aesthetics, some beauty cult.
l am very glad some brands are often mixing normal and plus size (let’s use those words without associating to any negative approach on them) models with those ‘runway’ ones. It give us a more realistic and better view of the clothes.
Totally agree – even describing a body as ‘normal’ is hard as there really is no such thing….! xx
true! “normal” , “average ” are really tricky words and always remind us about any kind of standardization …body shape vary a lot and this we need to always bear in mind.
What do you mean by “relatively slim”. You have a more than normal body and can wear anything.
I’m sorry, but this is where I can’t take your blog seriously anymore.
Hi Kirsten, I think this is the point of the post! People perceive their bodies in different ways….! x
Ok, I came out a little harsh! Sorry! You can send a really important message to other young women through your blog if you underline this as much as possible. To appreciate yourself at all times.
It was just that one sentence that I didn’t like.
I do think you are really smart and the photos are lovely.
I am 54 (!), so maybe I ought to follow the +50 blogs , but I just like your style so much better.
Kirsten – I felt the same. Actually, it was the “I’m lucky” attached to it. FFS. WHY are you body shaming people who aren’t as slim as you Alex?
Hi Sara, shaming someone on their website is not appropriate, especially using acronyms for swear words…this was a post about opening up about insecurities and show not all is as it seems on social media. If you would like to troll these thoughts, please go elsewhere x
You look amazing! Seriously! I’m 47 with a ten year old daughter, so I’m really careful about how I project what I think of my body, but what I really really wish is that I’d loved it more when I was younger. You have lovely long legs and great skin, stride out and be proud!
Thank you – so true – I even look back at pictures 10 years ago wishing I had as toned a stomach….but pretty sure I was complaining then! x
Yes! I love that certain bloggers are redefining the idea of what a woman’s body ‘should’ look like – ie there is no ‘should’ as there is no ‘perfect’. A beautiful, honest post. I think those of us in your community are here because we don’t want the gloss because, well, we all want to feel OK about ourselves with a healthy dose of aspiration. Thank you.
completely agree – I’ve never been one to make people feel excluded or not good enough….kind of why I started in the first place xx
Great thoughts, normal, sweet and so down to earth! Thank you Alex, you are such an honest inspiration and you have contributed to our lives more than you can ever imagine! How to be fashionable with affordable high street, and this post – it’s amazing. Love, love, love your work! Thank you for be the way you are, you are such an inspiration. You are the epitome of the thesis, that style and good taste have nothing to do with expensive. P.S. I love you hair color too, would be great if you can share your thoughts on how to get from medium to very light blond, hair care and make up 🙂
Thank you Mary – so kind and lovely comments! Will have a think about haircare posts! xx
Honestly, you should be a bit kinder to yourself! If I looked like you and wore the same (small) size I would be overjoyed! At 43 my weight has soared, for the first time in my life I am plus size meaning H&M, Zara etc don’t fit…it saddens me sometimes, but being on medication doesn’t make it easy to slim down so I have to find ways to like bits of myself and focus on those. The positives include lots of shoe shopping (they always fit) and re-learning what styles now suit me with my new and different body shape. Stay happy!
yes totally agree on the shoe front -explains why we all have so many! xx
I love your honesty : that’s why I love your blog (I already said this but sometimes we need to hear it again?)
and i understand you totally with the wobbly bits thing (Mark Darcy in Bridget jones says he love them btw!) and with the fact it’s much more difficult to have a body as slim as in our 20s! But anyway, you look gorgeous as always and so inspiring !
Keep up the good work ! ?
Gotta love a bit of Marc Darcy! xxx
You look stunning! Be proud of your body! Plus, I can’t see even a little bit of cellulite, you lucky girl! ? After 33, the real struggle starts ?
That’s at the back…! Ha – yes I’ve just turned 34….it’s coming xxx
Thought you were younger! That’s a compliment for you 😉
Ah what a refreshing and candid post! The blogger world is definitely over hyped and does project this idea of perfection when really at the end of the day, we all have things we don’t love about ourselves-both physically and mentally. I absolutely adore your style and your content because you are so relatable. Thanks for being a daily source of inspiration <3
Thank you! Yes, I totally agree – I try and be as real as possible but even on instagram, people like more ‘gloss’ to pictures – but then it goes the other way entirely and we’re all aspiring to a false idea!
I follow your blog because of your honesty and because you are a regular human being just like the rest of us. Thank you for this post and hope that you are not covering up too much when you hit a lovely beach! And I love the straigtforward crispness of a big shirt!
Thank you! Not covering up too much (but lots of sunscreen!) x
This is why I like your posts so very much, they’re totally honest and unscripted so that’s what makes them so fresh and natural. Alyson the Thats Not My Age blogger seems to have a very similar approach and that’s why I only follow her and you, your blogs reflect who you are naturally. No artifice just honest advice and suggestions and your own personal experiences and lifestyles reflected in a relatable way. Thank you xx
Thank you – and yes, I love Alyson! xx
Lovely, honest post, and you look absolutely amazing! x
This really makes me thing of the Baz Luhrmann lyrics in – Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen):
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will never understand the power
And the beauty of your youth until they’ve faded
But trust me, in twenty years
You will look back at photos of yourself
And recall in a way you can’t grasp now
How much possibility lay before you
And how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
So totally true & I remind myself of it on a daily basis, particularly when I feel down for not looking as slim as I used to – I’m older, I have a child & I work full time – life is hard enough without comparing myself to others!
Totally true! xx
I am in love with your bathing suit! I always use an oversized button up as my coverup for the beach, its the best!
Thank you for opening up to us about this issue. I think you are beautiful just the way you are and don’t ever let Instagram or any social media tell you otherwise! I love that your blog is so raw and really tells us everything as it is! I think you are gorgeous!
x
Shloka
http://thesilksneaker.com
So lovely – thank you for always commenting 😉 xx
I’ve discovered your blog about a year and half ago and now both your instagram and blog posts are what I look forward to most. This is my first time commenting and I feel compelled to – I just want to say thank you for your honesty. It’s a breath of fresh air especially since you work in the fashion industry you know the ins and outs. I love your blogging style! Please don’t change 🙂
Hope you and your hubby are enjoying a relaxing vacation.
Your Canadian reader,
Rebecca
Thanks so much Rebecca! Means a lot xxxx
Love your honesty…….we all have areas of our bodies that we don’t feel super confidant about, and you’re right, Instagram does have this ‘Perfect Life’ effect and can leave us feeling very dissastified with our own lives, especially if we’re having a down day.
You always look amazing in your pics anyway and you do look super confidant however you may feel. You inspire lots of us !
Love your blog, so just keep on being you !
Pia x
Thank you so much – yes sometimes Instagram is such a double edged sword….and I often find myself posting different pics on my blog as feel it’s a bit more ‘real’, and how I started xx
Great piece Alex. Would just like to add that almost all of my friends look better now in their forties than they ever have. But, of course, when you get to know a person they either get better looking or uglier depending on how kind and lovely they are x
I loved this post, thank you for sharing 🙂 Frankie
great post, really honest and i really love your blog & instagram. more the same please. and you look amazing.
i went to brighton recently with my husband and followed pretty much every place you recommended in your city guide…
I loved Brighton – hope you did, too! xx
You know, it does not matter what you think about your body! I think it is your imagination dear! For me you always look super nice and beautiful! I love the way you look, and a small part of me sometimes wish to be like you and have your lifestyle!
Jovita from Black Vanilla
http://www.b-vanilla.com
I follow your blog because of its honesty, and the fact that I love your style. It’s great that there are bloggers who say how they really feel and don’t try and project the perfect life and body, so keep it up.
Must admit to enjoying seeing how your house is coming on too, it’s the nosey parker in me.
Thank you! Yes there will be lots of house updates once I get home xx
I love this post as it is so relatable. I am also in my 30s now (yeay!!! and I actually love and celebrate it) but not necessarily feeling the urge to expose and in some cases with new trends over expose my body to the world. I just wrote a post on streamlined style as a reaction against the noise that came along with summer trends in denuding one self. I enjoy reading your post because of the human dimension and the rawness of it. Thanks!
Thank you! Yes so easy to get involved on every summer trend and lose yourself! xx
Isn’t it interesting how much our image we have of ourselves can differ from how others see us?
I love your blog exactly for not being “glossy”, and for being real, authentic, relatable and inspriring instead.
And btw: great legs!
Brigitte xx
Thanks brigitte – yes so different to that online ‘persona’ we give off! xx
You look fab in everything you wear.
And I love your blog. It doesn’t look less glossy than others, but it has a cool edginess which is probably what your readers love!
Thank you so much xxx
I do believe that investing in a good cover up is good. You can’t always be wondering around in just your swim suit. And cover ups look very trendy and stylish. It creates that awesome feeling before you go out to swim and reveal yourself.
The reason why people read blogs is that we want to see ‘normal’ people wearing clothes, not models. By the way, you have the best legs ever!
It’s so interesting how the world has changed into wanting to see more ‘real’ people…! Thank you xx
You are a real woman! I think we need more “true” women, and more “true” pictures. Thank you!
This is a tricky subject unfortunately. My friend who lost an epic 10 stone said she realised that no matter what your body shape there is always something not quite right. The root cause of that is complex to say the least (society, media etc). It’s also worth remembering that living in London and working in fashion might skew perception (I speak from experience!). Your blog is great – you don’t edit your photos, you prove that good style doesn’t mean you need pots of cash, and you’re honest.
Oh totally agree with all of this! And the worry of age and never looking how you ‘used’ to – but I’m probably happier now than I ever was when I was younger! Thank you xx